Story - A letter to you.

Story... Tell me yours and i'll tell you mine. Skin scars, flesh wounds and bleeding hearts. Everyone has his own, very particular story. And so do us.
Life is a journey, they say. Yes. But also an auto learning process where every scar is different.
We discussed obstacles, not how to overcome them, I know, we didn't have much time.
("That you will allow obstacles/complications to take over")
But in the end, what is left from what was said, felt? Very little, and very much, and a never ending learning process.
Time is a tricky thing, you know? Time will heal us, 'till the next scar, in a endless motion, as time has no dimension.
Giving and taking, is what all this is about. And then life comes along and crushes you down and the turmoil takes over. The fear. The insecurity.
Pure love and a cottage by the sea are no longer enough. Life is out there preying on people like you, like me, with all its variables, ready to "eat you out".

Even though I tried, was too late. You left just when I tried to do so. Just tried, but couldn't.
It was both a scream for help and a way to protect you. But then you left for real. How is this even possible, I don't know. Can't get my head around it just yet. You, who feared I was allowing obstacles taking over, now you feel the weight of life crushing you in the same way as I did. Down to hearth, considering all the variables. And you just left. And is that sense of loss that is outrageously devastating.
Is going to take me some time to deal with this. The problem is, I believed. Really did. But people are different, and love weighs differently to each one of us. Hands up, as you managed to outgrown your scars while I didn't. You know how to protect yourself, and I don't. But even if I was able to do so, was impossible to protect myself from you. The way you just got in was so brutal, there was nothing I could do to stop it. And quite frankly? I not even tried, or wanted to. Was a hell of an emotional journey!

("What unseen powers you have, to break inside me like this")
("And I let you... I let you, I welcomed you, let you sleep in my heart, shared my soul")

You are a brave woman. A truly special woman. As you will carry on, with just a frail memory or no memory at all, I will fight my way through the wreck i'm in to live another day, another life.
I stole your heart and your soul and will carry them with me on my journey, as you left but I didn't let you go. And when I finally do, that memory will stay, as in the song. And this will became my story.

("How can you make me feel so euphoric and devastated at the same time?")

With all my love,
N.

Love is a lie

Love is a lie
Sucking you dry
Love's not a friend
Until the end

You can call it a game
You can choose your own name
When it's stuck in the vein
There's no greater pain

I've got a bell but no sound
I've got a horse but no hound
And I know I'm, know I'm

Love is a lie

And I know I'm going down

Now there was a time
Love was blowing my mind
Not a tear, not a doubt
'Til I figured it out

Now I'm madder than hell
Love is wagging its tail
I holler, I cry
Love is a lie

I've got a bell with no ring
I've got a whip but no sting
And I know I'm, know I'm

Love is…

Love is a lie

And I know I'm going
You can call it a game
But there's no greater pain
When it's stuck in the vein
I know I'm going down

I've got a bell but no sound
I've got a horse but no hound
And I know I'm, know I'm going down

Songwriter: Beth Hart

Chat #May 4th

"Please don't contact me again"
"I can't continue this conversation, I need to delete everything, every word, every song, every picture... goodbye N."

"...anyway probably best we don't speak anymore we both need to move on"

You

Chat #May 3rd

"You are soothing me my love, thank you"
"I would love to dance with you to this"
"Under a moonlit sky"

You

Chat #May 3rd

"I need to 'strum' my pain with your fingers"

You

Dialogue #5

You

"So that's it??"
"You just gave up"
"I didn't"

Me

"No, I didn't give up"

You

"So don't push me away, I'm still here"
"I can still hear your voice telling me you love me earlier today"

Me

"What unseen powers you have, to break inside me like this"
"And I let you... I let you, I welcomed you, let you sleep in my heart, shared my soul..."

You

"Me too"
"Are you telling me goodbye"
"How can you make me feel euphoric and devastated at the same time"
"I wish you could come to me now"
"Need to hear your voice"
"It will calm me"

Me

"I'm right here... I'm right there with you, holding you tight"

You

"My love, that's all I need, want"
"Come back to me"

Dialogue #4

Me

"This happened unexpectedly in the wrong time"
"Now it's down to us how we deal with it"

You

"What aren't you telling me?"

Me

"What you think? What is your fear?"

You

"That you will allow obstacles/complications to take over"